Sixty years is a long time to deny yourself to touch one of another. But you do it, because you just can't bare the thought of seeing yourself as a monster of someone elses eyes.
- Mick St. John, private investigator & vampire (Moonlight, Season 1: "There's such things as vampires")
That line hit me totally. It tells exactly what I have gone through. I still feel same sometimes. Feel like I can't get close enough to another people. I'm not even sure why. Is it me who holds back or is it them who won't let me close? Or is it just that they doesn't have animal soul with them? So it makes me feel like I don't get any contact towards them... Or what?
I'm really afraid of that someone will reveal my "secret", that I feel my self a wolf in a human body. More than that I afraid that whoever it gets on it's known, would laugh it and think I'm lunatic. May be it's me who holds back and can not be as open as I hope I could be with it. I feel lonely, because I just can't be me. Always I had to be something else, someone else.
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